Easter Weekend…Have a Good One!

 

Photo copyright of Number 9 Photography

I  Photo copyright of Number 9 Photography

Easter weekend is finally here, and I’m pretty excited to see this little guy crack his first Easter eggs (cascarones)…and run around and such. I didn’t realize how much I missed the real excitement of Easter until I became a mom. Now, I understand how fun it was for my mom to dress us up, build Easter baskets, take bunny photos and dye eggs.

I took this photo last year right before Antonio’s first birthday, so this year will be the first Easter where he understands the holiday. I’ve got a shopping bag full of Easter basket bits to put together. We’ll be coloring the rest of the eggs tonight, and on Sunday, we’ll be visiting my sister for her Easter sacraments ceremony. I’ll say that Antonio has a full Easter experience ahead of him. Happy Easter, everyone…here’s hoping there’s a chocolate bunny in your future!

Social Media and a Parent’s Death

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Last month, I experienced the most heart-breaking moment of my life…my mom died. I was with her from her last conversation to her last breath.

A post on Bluebird Kisses prompted me to finally post about it, since the topic of social media and death has started a debate on ‘sharing’ too much.

The man behind the controversy is Scott Simon, a NPR radio personality, who started tweeting from his mother’s hospital bedside. His tweets shared intimate moments of cradling his mother, holding her hand, her heart rate dropping and when she died. Just reading the few comments below you can see the tug of war between support and criticism.

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During my mother’s last days, I wrestled with using the word “death” in a tweet or status update. I was feeling so many emotions that I felt were insensitive to share. I didn’t want to invite sympathy or distraction, so i stayed away from posting. That being said, I appreciated Simon’s posts.

Simon gave a voice to the experience that I didn’t want to share. I didn’t want to break people’s hearts by telling my story, especially those who have not lost a parent. Simon made me feel connected and calm, because I knew he shared my pain.

In the days following my mother’s death, my family found comfort in memorial Facebook posts friends and family put in their status updates. My mother didn’t want a funeral, and she chose to be cremated, so in a way, online posts served the purpose of a funeral and obituary. It never even occurred to us to place an obit in her hometown newspaper.

We filtered through family photos, and posted them onto her Facebook page for people to download as keepsakes. Having her life in pictures helped me grieve and relatives were grateful to have photos with her tagged to their profile.

In the next few months, we’ll have to cancel her email and Facebook account, but for now, it’s nice to see her face online everyday. It’s like a bit of her is still here. It’s not insulting or disgraceful to share if sharing helps you cope.

So I say, Simon, handle your grief for you, and let others have their opinions for themselves. Something about being able to share this experience makes it real. I’m glad that Simon’s sharing prompted me to post.

Mother’s Day: What I Really Want

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I’ve been a mother for exactly one year. Last year, I had this new baby and this new title…Mom. This year, I’ve had 12 months to figure out what that title means. It means becoming a cook, a housekeeper, a teacher, a playmate, a coach, a cuddler, a tickler, a sanitation worker, an encourager and so on.

With my days full, the best part of my day is the moment my little roommate is sound asleep, because I know that it’s time for me to do what ever I want. I can take a long shower, catch up on my Netflix, start a good book, chat with my husband, waste time on Facebook or fall asleep playing on my iPad. The point is that I can do whatever I want, and what’s more of a Mother’s Day gift than the gift of time. Time to do what I want to do, not what I have to do.

When Sunday comes, I still want to get up, put on a nice dress and go out for a Mother’s Day lunch with my family. After all, they are the reason I’m this new person now. It’s just nice to know that my husband will be on diaper duty, feeding duty, bathing duty and bed time…if only for the day. I’ll just take the play-time on Sunday.

Here’s a cheer to all the ladies who take on the job of motherhood. I wish someone would have told me sooner that raising a little person is just as rewarding as any work merit can ever be. 🙂

How will you be spending your holiday?

Gosling, Mendes and a one-year old

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You have plenty of reasons to go and see the new Ryan Gosling movie, but who knew one of those reasons would be that it’s a family flick. Not a take-your-small-children type of flick, but a story about a young family and how the past haunts their future. I was shocked how hard the story hit me. The movie focuses around Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper’s one-year old sons and their fate in relation to their parents lives.

Next week I will be the parent of a one-year old, and we’ve been talking about traditions, college funds and what kind of man we want to raise. The movie touches on all of these topics, but mostly it takes a look at the parents lives and how much is in and beyond our control. Check out  A Place Beyond the Pines and let me know what you think as a parent.

Will you hate Liotta’s character too? Do you think they made Eva’s character too rough? And do you love Gosling and Cooper even more after this movie?

Pro-Choice from a Pro-Blogger

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One of the reasons I started this blog was to comment on conversations affecting mothers/women of today. Motherlode is a NY Times parenting blog I follow…not because i like it but because I like the topics. Yesterday, Motherlode’s post tackled a subject I’ve often wondered about…prochoice from a Roe vs. Wade, activist era point-of-view.

In my early 20s, I was dubbed a feminist because of my prochoice views and told I would feel differently when I became a mother. Now that I’m a mother, I’m still prochoice, but pregnancy news feels different now. It’s not a political statement, it’s a new life. Here’s the quote that drew me into Motherlode’s post…

“But something changed once I became a mother. Pregnancy went from Scarlet Letter to the Holy Grail-something deeply desired and no longer feared”

Somewhere in your thirties or when you decide you want to be a mom, pregnancy is no longer a stop sign but rather a green light. Motherlode’s post describes mom-friends that turn to abortion as a choice and the emotions that accompany wanting more children. Check out the post here.