My first ebook

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It’s 5am…I’m 31weeks pregnant…I can’t sleep and neither can my somersaulting baby. After playing solitaire and messing around with Netflix and Pinterest, I decided to make better use of my time. I’m starting my first ebook. I can read in bed, and I’m tired of waiting for the actual books on my reading list to hit the local library. The ebook is a library option that I’ve avoided, because I’m an old-schooler that loves holding an actual book in my hand.

After starting a family, I started making use of my library card to save money. Now motherhood and pregnancy have led me to trying ebooks. Every time I check a book out from the library, I have to wrestle it away from Antonio who thinks every book in the house is his. The last book I read took me 6 weeks to finish and $10 in overdue fees. No much savings happening there.

For a while, I’ve been anti-Kindle and anti-Nook. I just love the smell and feel of actual books. I know I may be the last person on the planet to read ebooks, but my time has come. I already watch movies, listen to music and read my blogs and articles online…my books were the last chip to fall.

This summer, I’ve been into reading comedy books (written by comedians),so I’m excited to start Jim Gaffigan’s book about parenting and fatherhood. During my last pregnancy, I read Jenny McCarthy’s Belly Laughs“. It was relatable, but more crude than funny.

So far, the ebook download was easy. I’m not disturbing any sleepers with my iPad light. Here’s to a good read…at least until I can fall back asleep.

Social Media and a Parent’s Death

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Last month, I experienced the most heart-breaking moment of my life…my mom died. I was with her from her last conversation to her last breath.

A post on Bluebird Kisses prompted me to finally post about it, since the topic of social media and death has started a debate on ‘sharing’ too much.

The man behind the controversy is Scott Simon, a NPR radio personality, who started tweeting from his mother’s hospital bedside. His tweets shared intimate moments of cradling his mother, holding her hand, her heart rate dropping and when she died. Just reading the few comments below you can see the tug of war between support and criticism.

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During my mother’s last days, I wrestled with using the word “death” in a tweet or status update. I was feeling so many emotions that I felt were insensitive to share. I didn’t want to invite sympathy or distraction, so i stayed away from posting. That being said, I appreciated Simon’s posts.

Simon gave a voice to the experience that I didn’t want to share. I didn’t want to break people’s hearts by telling my story, especially those who have not lost a parent. Simon made me feel connected and calm, because I knew he shared my pain.

In the days following my mother’s death, my family found comfort in memorial Facebook posts friends and family put in their status updates. My mother didn’t want a funeral, and she chose to be cremated, so in a way, online posts served the purpose of a funeral and obituary. It never even occurred to us to place an obit in her hometown newspaper.

We filtered through family photos, and posted them onto her Facebook page for people to download as keepsakes. Having her life in pictures helped me grieve and relatives were grateful to have photos with her tagged to their profile.

In the next few months, we’ll have to cancel her email and Facebook account, but for now, it’s nice to see her face online everyday. It’s like a bit of her is still here. It’s not insulting or disgraceful to share if sharing helps you cope.

So I say, Simon, handle your grief for you, and let others have their opinions for themselves. Something about being able to share this experience makes it real. I’m glad that Simon’s sharing prompted me to post.

Mother’s Day: What I Really Want

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I’ve been a mother for exactly one year. Last year, I had this new baby and this new title…Mom. This year, I’ve had 12 months to figure out what that title means. It means becoming a cook, a housekeeper, a teacher, a playmate, a coach, a cuddler, a tickler, a sanitation worker, an encourager and so on.

With my days full, the best part of my day is the moment my little roommate is sound asleep, because I know that it’s time for me to do what ever I want. I can take a long shower, catch up on my Netflix, start a good book, chat with my husband, waste time on Facebook or fall asleep playing on my iPad. The point is that I can do whatever I want, and what’s more of a Mother’s Day gift than the gift of time. Time to do what I want to do, not what I have to do.

When Sunday comes, I still want to get up, put on a nice dress and go out for a Mother’s Day lunch with my family. After all, they are the reason I’m this new person now. It’s just nice to know that my husband will be on diaper duty, feeding duty, bathing duty and bed time…if only for the day. I’ll just take the play-time on Sunday.

Here’s a cheer to all the ladies who take on the job of motherhood. I wish someone would have told me sooner that raising a little person is just as rewarding as any work merit can ever be. 🙂

How will you be spending your holiday?

My little nine…

First post! This blog has been an idea since my little guy, Antonio, was 6 weeks old. Now, at  7 months, it’s finally happening.

How It Happened…

I was up late (or early) at 4:30am helping Antonio through a gassy night when he finally fell asleep on my chest. Lying there on the couch, I looked at the clock and knew that I wasn’t going back to bed anytime soon. All I had next to me was my iPad, so I occupied my new waking hours by searching for mom blogs. Being a new mom made me want to know about and connect with other moms.

During my first few weeks of motherhood, I quickly learned that my only waking-hours of pure, me-time would be when Antonio fell back asleep but before my husband left for work. I started taking the hour of between 6am-7am and searched for other moms to relate to…Mom*tog, Camille Styles, Hello Jack, Bluebird Vintage, Bluebird Kisses and Cheap & Chic Nursey…to name a few.

The Glow…

While I was pregnant, a friend had sent me a link to the Glow. Since I was her wedding photographer, she thought the Glow was a perfect mix of my current life, motherhood and photography. This was the first mom site I started following, and I fell in love with it. I felt connected to the moms featured and saw the blog as a glimpse of my future with Antonio.

Cup of Jo…

As a photog, I followed Joanna Goddard’s lifestyle blog, Cup of Jo, because she was connected to my favorite photographer, Max Wanger. Following Joanna’s blog led me to follow the birth of her son, Toby. Joanna has this great feature, Motherhood Mondays.  At 6am, I felt like Cup of Jo and I were friends, and if I needed any mom-advice, Joanna was just a blog comment away.

This Little Name…

In my head, I pretended I already started a blog to pass the time as I fed Antonio. In my daydream, all I needed was a name. Little Star was a contender, because “Twinkle, Twinkle” was a song Antonio liked, but it was taken.  ‘Thislittlemine.com’ was my next option, but it was unavailable by the time I finally worked up the nerve to buy it. The domain site actually suggested ‘thislittlenine.com’. It made perfect sense, because my photography site is Number 9 Photography.  Number 9 is an ode to my favorite Beatle, and it takes 9 months of pregnancy to become a parent.  The number 9 is my number , and in a sense, Antonio was my ‘little nine’.

And here we are…

Antonio’s 7-month birthday is in a couple of days, so it’s fun to think of how far I’ve come since those first few weeks. Looking back on the last months, I would not have bought certain items (the Bjorn, the Bumbo) and would have invested in other items sooner (the jumper, a sling). Antonio has made me lean towards a more natural, organic and recycling lifestyle. Keep in mind normal me is a junk food junkie who would call the new me a hippie in a heartbeat.

On this blog, I’ll share firsts, milestones, sites, stores, products and of course, photography in this new phase of life. I’ll leave you with a quote from a person I never thought I would quote, but it means something to me.

When I became a mom, I finally became the person I am, that I always should have been,” -Jessica Alba (founder of the Honest Company)